Words, inspiration, learnings, teachings and musings.
What's Therapy really about?
Who benefits from Therapy?
Do I need therapy?
When we feel disconnected, as we all do at times, it means there’s something in us that needs healing. Healing is about reconnecting—reconnecting with our true selves, our bodies, the people around us, and our relationship to the world.
Therapy is about coming to a place where we learn to accept and integrate every part of our experience and identity. Healing is about reconnection, connecting with those suppressed layers of emotion and being held safely to express your feelings. It's about becoming aware of what’s truly happening in our bodies and recognizing our emotional experiences.
This is at the heart of my practice and why I am so passionate about supporting people. For most of my clients they are totally unaware of the unconscious dynamics and reactive patterns that run their world. A core part of my work is helping clients stay grounded in the present, giving them the space to acknowledge and accept their emotions, even if they’re difficult to face.
The key drivers to your suffering are really your childhood coping mechanisms, which are there for good purpose - because they helped us survive as children. These behaviors aren’t our true selves—they actually distance us from who we really are. This creates a false sense of identity, leading to suffering, because deep down, we know we aren’t living from a place of honesty and authenticity.
Childhood Trauma occurs when, as children, we don’t have the emotional space or support to truly feel our emotions. We may not have had someone there to help us process our feelings, leaving us unable to express what we were experiencing. In many cases, a parent—often the mother—was too preoccupied with her own struggles and pain to provide this needed support, making it difficult for us to feel seen, understood, and emotionally safe.
As a result, we develop coping mechanisms or adaptations to avoid uncomfortable feelings like sadness, anger, fear, or shame. These strategies help us numb or suppress these emotions and at the same time disconnect us from experiencing our authentic selves and the way we really are. As adults this coping shows up in the form of our behaviour, addictions and control patterns.
Through therapy, we learn to connect with our present feelings and recognize that our emotions aren’t our true selves. Feelings are just experiences we have, not who we are.
Perhaps this has prompted you to reflect on the coping mechanisms and painful patterns that are influencing your life?
Or maybe you can relate to feelings like fear, shame, or anger, suppressed feelings that are blocking you from experiencing peace and joy in your life?
If anything is coming up for you, I would love to hear about it.
“It's not about feeling better, it's about getting better at feeling.”
- Dr Gabor Matae
With love,
Alice X